American Registry Wants Me to Pay Them to Lie to My Clients and Colleagues

If you work as an attorney, you might know American Registry.  You know Pat Barnes, the pseudonym or real name of some sales rep there who spams you for, you know, the heck of it. American Registry will sell you a plaque congratulating you for having passed the bar 15 or 20 years ago and having not died since.  (Actually, I do not know that American Registry doesn’t sell plaques to the dead; ask them.)

I am a 19-year member of the Bar of Maryland.  I have started, but not completed, my 20th year of practice.  My swearing-in date is December 13, 1994; most Maryland attorneys take the oath in mid-December.  But having failed for nearly five years to sell me a plaque celebrating, they offered me this email today:

Screen Shot 2014-01-22 at 9.59.35 AM

I don’t blame Pat Barnes or American Registry more (or less) than I blame any other hawker of nonsense.  I blame us attorneys for being so narcissistic that we are, apparently, a market for this nonsense.

Birthdays are nonsense (to the birthday boy or girl; their mothers deserve the credit) but they are traditional, so hey.  Saints’ name days are traditional for Orthodox Christians and some very religious Roman Catholics; most Americans don’t know about saints’ days but in parts of central and eastern Europe they are commonplace social holidays. But a swearing-in date is a nothing burger, unworthy of a spend of $159.00 plus possible taxes, shipping and handling.

Worse, a plaque marketed to me nearly 11 months before the 20th anniversary of my swearing-in date bears false witness to my experience (I have 19 years’ experience, not 20)?  Buying this and putting it up in my office would be a fairly mild case of fraud (I guess until December 14 of this year), but a severe case of corrupted personal and professional values.

Attorneys, if you are 20 years in the profession or thereabouts, and you want to impress me, show me your pro bono work.  Show me the difficult work you have done for clients – IF it’s ethical to do so (and it may well not be under confidentiality, depending your practice area.)  Show me how your writing or instructional materials are peer-reviewed within the Bar, officially or informally.  Show me how you have made efforts to improve the law or the profession (this counts as pro bono service in Maryland and most states.)  Show me that you know how to do well (earn a good living for yourself) while doing good (not screwing clients over or engaging in theft or fraud.) Show me young attorneys whom you have mentored.  Show me how judges rely on you. Show me who calls you for help when they have a nasty, gnarly mess of a case or situation.

If I see this nonsense from American Registry on your wall in your office congratulating yourself on not getting disbarred for 20 years, you will never touch any client or referral from my practice.  I just can’t trust your judgment, your honesty or perhaps equally importantly your self-respect.

2 thoughts on “American Registry Wants Me to Pay Them to Lie to My Clients and Colleagues”

  1. I’ve “won” an award three or four years in a row but can’t find it published in the magazine they claim gave me an award. Solid outfit, American Registry.

  2. Thanks for sharing this. They reached out to me amd it seemed shady. I appreciate you confirming it

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *