I pity “Pat Barnes”. He or she is a representative of a company that wants to sell me, an 18-year member of the Maryland Bar, a plaque commemorating my 15th year of membership in the Maryland Bar. And be darned if she or he isn’t persistent:

I have gotten maybe half a dozen of these emails this year, two of them on consecutive days last week.

They want $159.00 for this hunk of self-congratulatory garbage, but will “let me have it” for $50.00 off.

I feel like I should be organizing an intervention, whether for Pat or for the attorneys who, 15 years into practice, would apparently be such wounded narcissists that they would feel a deep-seated need for this hunk of wood on their wall to assure their clients that, yes, they are practicing attorneys of some duration.

Can someone please get a headhunter to help Pat Barnes get a job cold-calling for timeshares or overpriced lighting fixtures or something?